We’re asking the questions to increase awareness and understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community during Pride Month. Here’s Meryll’s story and what she wants you to know…

     

    1. How old were you when you started questioning who you were?

    I think I was in 6th grade when I first started questioning who I was. I was a tomboy growing up and would play sports with the boys, but I always wanted to hang out with girls because I found them pretty and nice. It was all very confusing, and I didn’t have references or resources to help me figure all of that out. Access to the internet and individuals who have gone through the same thing was not easily accessible at that time, so I was stuck in my own head to figure it all out. Therefore, I am currently pursuing a master’s in social work degree and having the long-term goal of owning a private practice to assist with the LGBTQ+ youth population.

     

    2. How old were you when you came out?

    I must’ve been around 18 when I first came out to someone and it varied with all my friends. But I officially came out to my parents last year when I was 32 years old.

     

    3. How did you come out?

    It’s funny because I had all these ideas on how I would come out on my 30th birthday because what better way to do it than with a memorable birthday right? The ideas involved a lot of thought and planning, but it never happened because I wasn’t ready to do so. Two years later, I felt it in my gut that I needed to get it out before it ate me up inside. So, after work, I planted myself at a coffee shop and started typing up this letter to my parents. 32 years’ worth of hiding flowed on to that letter and it took me about four hours to do. I put it in an envelope, placed it on their bed, and went to work that night. In the letter, I asked for them to give me a hug if they accepted me for who I am, and when I got home, that’s exactly what I got –the tightest hug that finally let me breathe and let me be who I am.

     

    4. How did you know?

    I see this as a two-part question –1) how I knew I was gay: I always knew I felt different and wasn’t like everyone else, but I couldn’t grasp the concept. I was attracted to both genders but didn’t know what to do so I was always left confused. Then I realized that it was perfectly okay to be completely honest with myself and accept that part of me. 2) how did I know to come out: There was this heavy feeling within me that was wanting to come out and has been such a weight on my shoulder. I knew the only way to get rid of it was to be free of it, be honest with myself and the people I love. And when it was done, it was such a liberating experience.

     

    5. Who did you come out to first?

    I’m pretty sure I came out to my brother first. We were sitting at a stoplight and were talking about all the good-looking actors and actresses we liked, then we looked at each other and asked if we liked both genders…we both said yes, and the rest is history! Lol!

     

    6. What was the hardest part about coming out?

    The hardest part of coming out has to be the unknown –like how my friends and family would react, would people think of me differently, will this truly make me happy. It was harder for me to come out to people I’ve known longer than those who are new in my life. Also, there’s saying the words out loud and truly meaning every word. I’m still new to the whole process but completely saying it and being comfortable with it is a different level of difficulty.

     

    7. What was the easiest part? Was there an easy part?

     I don’t know if I’d call it an “easy part” because the process is a continuous journey. You get up every day, look at yourself in the mirror, and realize that you’re looking at the same person but in a different light. You realize that you’re growing into your own skin and slowly owning your identity –a stronger and more confident individual than the one who has been hiding the past 32 years. Moments like this make it all worth it!

     

    8. How did your family and/or friends react? 

    My friends’ reactions varied depending on who they were –I had friends who weren’t phased at all and didn’t really give me much of a reaction at all but have been incredibly supportive; then I had friends who told me that it was probably just a phase, or if I didn’t like them “like that” then that’s cool. Harsh but you just learn not to take that personally. My family (parents and siblings) have been unbelievably supportive in the whole process and have accepted wholeheartedly. They even joke around about when I’m planning to bring home a significant other like it’s that easy right? Haha

     

    9. Who is your biggest supporter? 

    Other than my parents and siblings, my friend, Eva, has been there for me from the very beginning of being authentically and unapologetically myself. She gives me that tough love and unconditional support, even when I’m being ridiculous at times haha. Then there’s my roller derby family from the Rockford Rage Roller Derby team who not only pushes me outside of my comfort zone but are also my source of support in all walks of life. I wouldn’t trade my rage girl gang for anything!

     

    10. What does Pride Month mean to you?

    Pride Month means a lot of things! On the surface, it is a celebration of who you are and what you’ve been through in fighting for that. It is a celebration of a community coming together and for each other. But it isn’t just about the rainbows, dancing, singing, love, and all that is happy. It is also a reminder of how the LGBTQ+ community got to where it is now and the brutality they endured by being open about who they are and who they chose to love. Pride Month wouldn’t exist if queer people were comfortably accepted by society and didn’t need a riot to demand equality. Pride is standing with our black community and fighting for human rights! Despite the effort to take down the LGBTQ+ community, the attitudes toward them today have changed dramatically compared to how it was 50+ years ago. With that change comes the slow progress towards equality yet there’s still so much more to be done.

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